Who knows why certain things happen? You. Do you know? I don’t. I just knew one thing as Marilyn Monroe once said, “I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they go right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together”.
Aww. It seems that I go far beyond from what my point is. Lol. Damn it, though. People see me very different from before and that fact annoys me. For once again, I’d like to be closely controlled so to achieve what I need to achieve. Just so I can surprise people.
Well, well, well. Changes are inevitable. There’s nothing we can do about it. We just need to face the realities of the reality. Haha. My days staying here won’t be any longer. I need to go back to school on Monday. That thought makes me nauseous. Urgh! Have you ever felt like your life is beginning another monotonous trip? I am. Maybe because monotonous trip sounds like mountainous trip. Lmfao. But true. So next week, busy busy busy is all I can say.
My cue on this drama. Time to pack. Going back to Baguio this afternoon.
It’s been 3 weeks since I entered college life. And to be exact, 21 days na rin. Pero kamusta naman? Since July 8 until July18, we don`t have classes. Basically, I went home muna, in Tuguegarao. And in here, wala masyadong magawa that`s why, eto blog muna since I missed blogging hella lot. Besides, I don`t feel reviewing this time for the incoming Prelims because hindi din lang ako makakaconcentrate.
Well, I just want to share college life is not like what I was thinking before or when I was still in high school. In fact, masaya nga eh. And I never expect na makaka`adjust ako agad in my new school. Good thing, I belong to block section and that made us, blockmates, closer to each other. Yes, I now know all of my classmates but haven`t talk to some yet. Very fortunate, mababait din ang professors ko. : ) Eto, insights lang sa lahat ng subjects ko.
MATH 1
–During discussions, hayan ang recitation pero it`s not graded either. No one is exempted kase isa-isa every row. 1st quiz ko, 54/70. Not bad pero2nd quiz naman 47/100. After our two quizzes, in`arrange kami based on the total of quizzes namin. Thank goodness, passed naman kahit papano and nasa middle row ako ngaun, meaning “Average”. Okay na `yun!
MGMT 1
–Si Ma`am Leilanie, ayos lang din. She has lots of stories. Even when she discusses, she`ll try to relate the current topic on the practicality and reality of life. Maybe, because her life is so tragic, sabi nga niya. She is quite abnormal and that`s also according to her. Required din kaming magcorporate (kagalang-galang) attire dito, pero every Monday lang.
PSYCHO 1
–Napakadaldal ng professor namin dito. Si Ma`am Lalet. She`s definitely a psych. Yeah! Ang ingay niya and because of that, her class is not boring. Tawa na lang kami ng tawa. She is also generous in giving bonus points through 1/8 sheet of paper. Just write the correct answer in that paper, instant points na.
THEO 1
–Mabait din professor namin dito. Ma`am Cristy, who has a broad knowledge concerning a lot of things, is willing to share naman. She attended many seminars na kase. Pero during her class, maraming inaantok. No wonder, 1:00-2:00 pm kase ang schedule eh and I think, siesta time `yon kaya ganun. Lols.
ENG 5
–Phonetics. This class is enjoyable. Nakakatuwa kaya mag speaking lesson. Those words, should be pronounce like this and not like that. Ayun, lagi nalang nagtatawanan kasi it seems that the way Ma`am Gerarda speaks is being exaggerated pero it`s not. `Yun lang talaga `yung tama. Sabi nga niya, “The best way is to consult your dictionary, whether abridged or unabridged.”
P.E. 1
–Once a week lang ang P.E. namin pero 2 hours. Namissed namin ang first two meetings namin because of two orientations. Then, 1st meeting pa naming was shorten into 1 hour because of the Holy Spirit Mass. Malas nga namin eh kaya naman we need to get faster in making up our classes. So, sa first official meeting namin, nag 3 mins. Step-up kami. Stupidnesss, I slipped out, kaya I did not finish the 3 mins. tapos nagkapasa pa ako. Huhu.
FIL 1
–Haha. Super cool professor namin. Super sabay sa trip ng teenagers. Imagine, Ma`am Myla, on her mid 30 na yata and syempre may mga anak na. She used to play OL games and she only stopped when she was 29, if I`m not mistaken. xdd. Bihira lang ang ganun. Despite of being sillyness, maganda parin ang flow ng pagtuturo niya.
NAT SCI 1
–First meeting palang, mukhang strikto na si Sir Onie. So, ayun. One of his policies is – he only gives surprise and unannounce quizzes. Pero one time, he said.. “I will give a surprise quiz next meeting.” Lols. Surprise nga `yon. Pero almost lahat kami sa class, 3/15 ang result. WTH. Tapos2nd quiz ko, bagsak again. So, I need to make bawi in Prelims. Promise!
ENG 1
–In this class, madali lang kase recaptures of lessons lang naman during HS. Ayos nga eh. 1st quiz namin and the fact na unannounced `yun, 1 mistake lang. sayang. As well as in my 2nd quiz, 1 mistake lang din. Haha. Thumbs up for me, pero English 1 lang. xD
HIST 1
–Our instructor here is Atty. Christopher, well, nag aadjust pa kase nakaka 3 meetings pa lang kami sa kanya. Before kase, girl `yun instructor namin. She is way stricter than Sir. So, okay lang na nareplaced siya. Anyway, Philippine History ang focus. So, Phil. Map Reading ang 1st quiz namin. Fortunately, perfect ko naman. Halos lahat kami. Haha.
I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: “You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love.”
This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to possess it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds.
This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love; they try to POSSESS it, they DEMAND, they EXPECT… and just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will RETRIEVE from you.
For love is meant to be FREE, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.
# GIVE and don’t expect.
# ADVISE but don’t order.
# ASK but never demand.
It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring.
Passing thought…
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away.
Whoever on earth can play this for me, i will f**kingly marry you. Weh? Exaggerated naman. Joke lang un noh. Wala lang. I was just amazed with Jam`s Version of Bella`s Lullaby which was originally played by Edward Cullen in the film, Twilight. Thumbs up, Pare. Galing! Haha. :DD
How I wish ganyan ako kagaling magplay ng Piano. I am also interested to play guitar. Kaso I can`t find any time naman para pag aralan eh. So next time na lang. ;))
Since I mentioned Twilight a while ago, I want to share how obsessed I am with this Converse Shoes.
I`m planning to buy a new pair of shoes as a gift for myself (my birthday is getting nearer na) pero wala akong money. Duh. Magpapabili na lang ako sa Papa ko. However, I really doubt if this is available in any store. I think, this is only for Online Buying. Ewan ko lang but I don`t wanna buy it online. Hanggang tingin na lang ako dito. Hmm besides, I didn`t like the color. Black, okay lang. Pero Red, naku! One of the colors I really hate is Red, honestly. Pero if you want to buy this for me, that would be great! Haha. Joke lang. :))
Okay. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18.. OMG! Just 18 more days to go and then summer is over and then school is back. I`m not looking forward to it. Definitely not. Though, the day before our class will start is my birthday. Who on earth ever wanted to go older? Crap! But it feels good having my age being supplement by “sweet”. Get it? Yeah! Few more days to go, sweet 16 na `ko. The question now is how would I celebrate it? Do I even have to celebrate it at all? Because I just realized, ang hirap mag birthday ng June especially before pasukan kasi nga daming gastos! Well, he said that he would treat me on my birthday, at least. Hoho. Sunday naman eh kaya if God permits, masaya `yun. But if it won`t happen, it`s the thought that counts anyway.
But hell, it`s freaking me out! Kinabukasan is June 8. I`m not yet ready but you know, it is inevitable. I still haven`t lost some weight and I feel like a big damn fluff ball. Dammit! Crazy things happened this summer. Boredom, it is all your fault. Huhu :’( My old clothes are tight and it`s depressing. My eating is getting much avoided but I just got no results at all. I`m planning to have some work-outs pretty regular, hoping that my body would soon start responding. Asa! (Anong connect?)
Whoa! New school means another adjustment. Good thing, I`ve got many friends and 2 cousins who will also study in SLU. I just hope we`ll help each other to adjust well. But it would be better if I could meet new friends who will also help me to cope up and fit in. College would be an immense thing or should I say, must be an immense thing for everybody. It`s not a “just-just” which certainly others might think of it. What`s even worse is that I`ve got a hectic schedule. And the worst? My granma`s house where I will stay is very far from my school. It just makes me cynical because I could now imagine myself waking up 4 in the morning during Monday, Wednesday & Friday, and I have to leave our house probably, 1 hour before 7:30 am. It`s very frustrating on my part because I`m a lomag, antukin, tulog-mantika or whatever you may call. That`s undeniable. I`m still just hoping that someday, I could please my Papa to allow me to stay in a boarding house or apartment of course, nearer in my school. (Hi Papa. You`re so handsome talaga! :)) Haha. Whatever!
No wander, freedom is so close now. It is touchable, tasteable. I wish I can make it without my parents` much guidance this time. House responsibilities. House errands. I need to clean my room, wash my own clothes, cook food, wash dishes, and budget my allowance. OhmiGod! I can`t imagine myself doing all of these things on my own. My goodness! Pero kaya lang. Ako pa.
Wth?? I`ve got a long blog today huh? But this is now my cue to stop my drama. Aha. Btw, good morning. :))
I don’t know what I want, so don`t ask me because I`m still trying to figure it out. I don`t know what`s down this road, I`m just walking trying to see through the rain coming down. Even though I`m not the only one who feels the way I do. I`m alone on my own, and that`s all I know. I`ll be strong; I`ll be wrong. Oh! But life goes on. I`m just a girl, trying to find a place in this world. I`ve got the radio on, my old blue jeans and I`m wearing my heart on my sleeve. I`m feeling lucky today, got the sunshine. Could you tell me what more do I need? And tomorrow`s just a mystery, Oh yeah! But that`s okay. I`m alone on my own, and I`m starting off. I`ll be strong; I`ll be wrong. Oh! But life goes on. I`m just a girl, trying to find a place in this world.
I do not want to assume anything because I do not want to be wrong
— not this time, not when it matters.
But here it is, the warmth on my face embracing the sweetness in the air,
evidence that this can be something SPECIAL && REAL && WONDERFUL.
&& so this time, because it matters, I might just be right.
Wait. *thinks* Hmm..
One simple question had just popped out my mind, Can you just imagine how hard && difficult it is to deal with those things?
Aww. Then I flinched. Err. Nakakatakot!
*******
I have a right to change my mind, don`t I?
I have a right to rearrange our dynamics
— to ask him to re-adjust his feelings for me,
to tuck them away in a safe spot
&& bring them out in an open again if and only if we finally figure things out.
Torn. Hella Lot.
How should I choose? On second thought, WHY should I choose? Do I even have to choose at all?
Finally, I set aside the question of What I Want to make way for What I Have to Do.
Because surely I am a Good Girl && that`s what good girls do, right?
